are you still at the devil's house?
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
