i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
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