we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I stole a fireplace last night.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
