Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
