We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He better not be in your backpack
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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