i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Randomize