operation harelip BJ is a go
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
3 2 1 whiskey
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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