butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
