butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
