it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
