literally had 100 drinks last night.
its not stalking. its research.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
