Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
