With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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