I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize