RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
