At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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