I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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