You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
this must be what syphilis tastes like
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
