im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
