how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
