I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
