we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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