i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
