so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
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