Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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