You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
