Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
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