Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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