spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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