think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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