At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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