Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
