was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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