Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize