We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
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I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
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