I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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