Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
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