I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize