Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
