Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
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I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
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