that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
