You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
