I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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