Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
