worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Randomize
