at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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