I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
so explain again why im purple
no
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize