ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Randomize