JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
This is the high leading the old right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
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