these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
