Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize
