he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize