Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Randomize
