can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
