We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
