So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
